I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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