If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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