3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
