My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize
