sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
