I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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