I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
