he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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