After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
