O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
