$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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