why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
