It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I love having hate sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
