Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
