I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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