My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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