nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize