I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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