you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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