I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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