I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
