it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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