your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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