ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My pussy is not your playground.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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