Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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