Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
