32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
