Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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