school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
