More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
