You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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