I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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