Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
