in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
