I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
