I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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