if you like me you must not know who I am
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You're like the curious george of whores
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Can I color on your dick again?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
