Me. At least after what I've been through.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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