Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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