He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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