Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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