dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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