I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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