And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
