I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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