just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
love makes seman taste better
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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