Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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