please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
