listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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