if you like me you must not know who I am
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
