never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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