so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
