"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
