I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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