So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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