i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
