i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
