"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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