I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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