my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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