What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
