I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
