Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize