Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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